The gift of rest.

It has been one stressful week for this little lady out here in Cali. Although the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and life is generally all good - somehow I seem to get myself worked up over just about everything and anything! My students are totally great - learning more Spanish than I ever thought they could (TPRS rocks!), my friends are totally great (I got a bag of ghirardelli chocolates in my box today), I got to take a quick nap today, went out to dinner with some more great friends, saw a good movie, and now am home and happy.

Tonight at dinner, I was sitting next to my really great friend Jeremy. He coaches JV basketball and JV baseball at my school. One of the reasons I really like hanging out with Jeremy is that he always asks how I am doing, what is new with me, and how my week at school/in life went. Tonight I told him that I have been pretty stressed about school, and coaching decisions for next year, etc. I told him it's been an interesting journey, this being injured/not knowing if I should coach thing, because throughout these past few months, I feel like more times than not, I have been hearing "You need to rest." Water aerobics instructor, other teachers, students (tell me I walk too fast...), family, etc. So I was telling this to Jeremy, and he said something like, "Allison, when I think about coaching baseball next year, I try to think about what God would want me to do, not what I want out of it. And Allison, sometimes, we hear what God is saying, but we don't really like what he says, so we don't really listen. If you've had that many people say it, maybe God really is trying to tell you to rest." I then said something like, "Yeah, I know. I just want God to like, really give me a sign so I know for sure, you know?"

When I got home tonight, I checked my email and saw I had a message from my SIL Lora. In the email she said that based on my blog entries, emails, conversations, etc. it sounds like resting my body, giving it the chance it needs to relax, (i.e. not coaching,) seems like the best thing to do. Gah...this is where it gets hard. At the restaurant tonight, I tell my friend I just want a sign, another message, clear and straighforward from God telling me what I should do (because, clearly, I have a difficult time deciding what is best for ME myself)...and here I get this email. OK. Not only did I get an email directly from Lora, but I also got a forward from Lora, which includes a portion of a healing story (I'll tell ya about it another time...) and in this portion (I have read about 8 other portions previous to this one) the guy says "Yet, while God is with me and he is strengthening me, he has also blessed us with the gift of rest. He truly knows what we need." Blessed us. Gift of rest. He knows. Oh boy.

Faith means taking steps with the assurance that even though I don't know what I need, God does. I'm not sure I am ready to make a decision in faith - tonight - but maybe this weekend. I'd appreciate your prayers - those of you who actually read this - but if not, I was reading from the book of Romans this week, and it said something like when we don't have the words to say in prayers, the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf - and that God knows exactly what we need even when we can't articulate it. I am confident of that tonight.

It's the end of a very tough week. A good week, but a tough one. Thank goodness for weekends.