A rollercoaster.

Let's see....where to begin a blog post....? I'll just write whatever comes to my mind today and see if it makes any sense to 'readers' out there (who are no doubt itching for some good Allison stories)

Sometimes I feel like I am on a rollercoaster ride. There are days when kids are into my lesson, they don't complain about the acitivies I have tirelessly planned for them. And there are days when kids lie straight to my face about their homework, project, book being lost, etc. Seriously, every single day, I have at least one kid who says, "Oh, I never got that paper from you," and three seconds later they find it in the mess of disorganized papers in their backpacks. A little effort wouldn't hurt, kids! :) We are so incredibly close to the end of the school year, its an amazing feeling. On the flip side (of the rollercoaster ride...) I am realizing I don't have much time left before I head to the great state of Iowa to take grad school classes - which means I need to be finished with a year's worth of work before then!

So the other night, I had small group at Ben and Betsy's house. They are some of the greatest people I know - and their little baby Jack is just a doll! Small group was fine - it's always good to check in with people and know they are praying for you on a regular basis. Well, when I left their house, I got in my car and all these things just hit me. Hard. And the thing with being on the rollercoaster of my life is that so much is (or feels) out of my control. For example, I live in a house with 5 girls, but two are getting married this summer, and another is moving to another city. That leaves two of us. And we cannot afford our house with just two of us. So we're in the process of finding other roommates/finding another place for us. But my roommate was in Michigan all last week, so we had not talked about it for over a week, and I was starting to stress big time. Also, trying to balance graduate school homework with daily lesson planning, etc is a challenge. Although I've been teaching 4 years, I have changed positions so much that I am literally still creating new worksheets every single day. I decided there is no way I can do grad school homework at school, in the middle of a teaching day. So - I am taking today off (thus the blog post at 10am). I am so thankful for personal days...we only get two a year, and I still had one, so today it is. And, get this, the house is completely empty! So I am just kickin' it with my cup of coffee and icing my hips. Side note: I went on an intense hike yesterday with a good friend, and now my body feels pretty crappy....so I'm just numbing it up so I can't feel the pain. :)

Going back to small group night: so I am driving home, crying, because, well, that's what I do when I feel stressed out to the max and alone. I got home, and fell into bed. In the midst of it all, the only thing I could do was cry out to Him who desperately wants me to come to Him when I am weary so He can give me rest. And folks, that's exactly what He did. I am telling you, when we choose to draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. All we have to do is quiet ourselves for a moment, have a willing spirit, as weary as it may seem, and give it all over to Him. Because you know what? I had no clue how in the world I was going to get housing figured out, get grad school work done, be a good teacher even when kids lie to me, communicate with Aaron, and maintain sanity. I woke up the next morning (Thursday) at 5:30 and it was like BOOM! His mercies were brand new for me that morning. I jumped out of bed (almost literally) with a new sense of His loving presence - He didn't let me go - He sustained me through the night - and He woke me up with a purpose. I was off to lead LOFT in my classroom at 7:15. Folks, if I could have a videocamera in my room that could capture the raw honesty and joy of those girls on Thursday mornings...I am telling you. I have had new girls coming every week for the past month - which has totally rocked my socks off. As a teacher, even a Christian school teacher, it is so easy to assume and place judgment on kids. And then they show up to a thing like LOFT, and you're just blessed by their presence. God gets all the credit on this one, folks...as He always does, because I was so broken the night before, and somehow He still chose to use me as a leader for LOFT on Thursday morning. It's amazing.

So. Now it's Friday - and I am looking ahead to a four day weekend! Yay for Memorial Day, right? Sheesh. I am trying to get into the habit of praying each morning that God would show me exactly what He would have me do every day - so this morning I walked and prayed that. Here's to a productive yet relaxing day!

How was that for a post...?