Today I had coffee with a good friend and we talked about the book he lent me, This Beautiful Mess. We talked about how to make the ideas in that book practical for our community. I feel like I have been learning so much about really putting Jesus' love in action - and with that...I wrote this email to my mentor, and after I sent it I thought maybe I should post it. I am hesitant to post it because I do NOT want any praise or claps or even mention of what I personally did. And posting this "letter" might make it seem like I want all that. But I geniunely do not. I only post it because I wanted to share how when God convicts a person of something (loving like Jesus did, community awareness, etc.), it's crazy how He follows through - and almost tests you to see if you'll then follow through. Well....please do not clap for me or tell me I am awesome because I am so far from it. Seriously. Read on and see God in this story. Not Allison. (note: this is the exact email I sent to my mentor. Loren is my pastor at church)
I just wanted to tell you this crazy thing. So, I was driving to school to work on some stuff, and I drove past these three construction workers. They were hanging out by their truck, and my first (sinful, judgmental, holier than thou attitude) reaction was, "Construction workers are never actually woking. They are always on break." And then all these ideas came to mind...I've been reading and been so convicted that I need to be a follower and not just a believer in Jesus and the way that He loved. And then I remembered a story Loren once shared about passing out cold water to parents and spectators at a soccer game one time. And then it hit me. As odd as this may sound...God called me to stop at the 7-11 and buy three Cokes. So I did. And then I drove back to where they were working, and two of them had left, but one was still there, and I knew he spoke Spanish, so I introduced myself in Spanish, told him I was a Spanish teacher, and that I really appreciated all the hard work he and his guys were doing on such a hot day...and that I bought them Cokes. He took them and thanked me and that was it. And the thought passed through my mind that God was saying, "This is your community, Allison. How are you going to love people in it? I have given you so much. Can you stop your busy life for a moment, spend $3 that I have graciously given you? What will you do with little? Can I trust you with much?" I'm almost in tears just thinking about how much I feel the Holy Spirit call me to do things like this all the time. Why? I don't know.
I share this with you not to boast about me or my good deeds. I share this to tell you that God is so alive. God's love pours out in His people, and for some reason, He chose to use me to meet a need - like Loren always talks about. I pray that God CAN trust me with much!
Speaking of which....God has opened another door for me this summer. I went to the beach with Tracey yesterday and she and Bryan are leading a youth retreat through their church and need someone to lead worship - it is after I get back from MN - and I will totally be available for it. God is so much bigger than I am! God's plans are so much better than mine! Were I coaching XC I am not sure I could have done this! Were I in El Salvador - I could not do it! Why has He chosen me? My response is only worship.
Whew. Sorry if this got too emotional for you - I just wanted to share it with someone and thought maybe you would not think I was crazy. :)
Love,
Allison
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