Blessed in abundance.

I'm not sure how your day (week, month, summer, year) have been...but lately I have been struck with such a sense of wonder. I am almost finished reading The Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne, and over and over as I read books like this, I can't help but stop and wonder why in the world I am living here, now, in this body, with this income, with this job, with these people...yesterday morning it hit me the most. I woke up exceptionally early (4:45am) without an alarm clock...(nerves, excitement, anxiety) and I made pancakes for breakfast, then proceeded to eat by myself, in the quietness of the morning, and ponder (this is what I do...I ponder...) And you know what? I started to cry. I was thinking about all of the ways that I have been blessed - especially when I feel I really do not deserve any of it - and I just cried out of thanksgiving to the One who has given me everything. And I have tried to take that thought further...if I did not have ANY of the material possessions I have in such ridiculous abundance, would I still feel blessed? I want so badly that my answer be a solid YES. What a struggle, though.

I just went for a walk around my neighborhood and even though my hips ache, and I would love to be able to go for a run instead of a walk, I cannot help but turn and thank the Creator that He has blessed me with the health to go for a walk at all!

Just in the past few days, I have been blessed by my roommates - who (literally) gave me a manicure and pedicure, fed me, encouraged, listened to my stories, and gave me the freedom to be me. I have been blessed by my family - good phone conversations, blog posts, and emails. And tomorrow - I am blessed to be able to fly and see them all! (The picture of me and my siblings is from last summer at the lake...where we're all going to be this week!) I have been blessed in my church - today we had a guest pastor from Western Theological Seminary in Michigan (woot! woot!) give an awesome message using storytelling. He talked about the passage in Revelation where Jesus says, "Behold, I am making everything new!" That we could all be so blessed to take hold of all that promise means! I am blessed in friendships with new people - challenging conversations about morals and values and life. Dinners cooked FOR me and shared over wine and solid conversations - all with no lesson plans or grading hanging over my head! :)

There is this one song that has always kind of "spoken to me" by Jeremy Camp. It's called "Empty Me" and I love it so much because it says, "Holy fire, burn away my desire for anything that is not of You and is of Me. I want more of You and less of Me." Wow. If that could be the prayer of Christians every day - how much more peaceful of a place would our world be? Less of me. Less of my selfish desires (ok....fewer of my selfish desires, but just go with it). Less of my opinions. Less of my greed. Less of my arrogance. Less of my pride. Less of my jealousy. More of the selfless love of Christ. Because, in the end, Love Wins. :)

OK - time for a brownie and time to pack for MN. (see? I feel blessed just to be able to eat CHOCOLATE! sheesh.) Do you feel blessed in abundance? Do you want more of God and less of yourself? Does love win in your life? Tough stuff, right? Just somethin' to think about...